Never mind what anybody else thinks. When you look at yourself in the mirror how do you feel about who you see?
I can’t help smiling when I think back to a conversation that took place really early in my career, in my radio days. There was a fellow that would come into the radio station once a week to record a local sports bit. He worked at the area newspaper. And, my recollection of him is that he always had on tattered jean-shorts and a kind of ratty-looking old Detroit Lions football jersey. Now, I’m not saying that to judge, but that’s what I remember he was almost always wearing every time he would come into the radio station. We got along really well.
One time after he had recorded his bit and he was leaving he was walking down the hallway and then stopped and turned and he went, “Kevin, why do you wear a tie? You’re on the radio. Nobody can see you.”
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I thought it was kind of funny. He was wrong about one thing. There was someone that could see me. I could see me. And it’s always mattered to me, even before I was aware that this was something that I could control, it’s mattered how I feel about who I see looking back at me in the mirror.
This is not about conforming to what other people might think. For instance, if I had tattoos and piercings or other things that I felt were essential parts of expressing who I was, that I was covering up because of what I was worried what someone else might think, well then I wouldn’t be showing up in the world authentically and that would ultimately be to my detriment.
When I look in the mirror, I want to see who I want to be.
Conversely, not everybody likes when I wear a sports coat and a dress shirt. Some people, they think it makes them uncomfortable. But you know, the irony is, it’s not really about what they think. Yeah, it’s nice to feel like you look good, but it’s about how I feel about seeing the image staring back at me in the mirror of what looks to me like the picture of success, confidence and effectiveness and preparedness; sort of like playing the role and preparing for the part.
It’s the exact same in my own recreation time as well. It’s the same principles. When I think about what I want to see when I’m not in a sports coat, tie and shirt – something that shows me focus, strength and effectiveness – I choose what I’m wearing really carefully [taking off dress shirt to reveal a Superman t-shirt underneath] because when I look in the mirror, I want to see who I want to be.
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Hi kevin,
Great post and very inspiring. We really do spend too much time worrying about what other people think of us. As long as we are happy with the person we are then other people will also see that. It’s obvious when someone is trying to be someone they’re nott.
Thanks Kirsty,
I appreciate your visit and comments.
Best wishes,
Kevin
I can relate to this article very well. There was a time I used to be overly conscious about what people thought. Almost everything I did was not because I wanted to but because I wanted to be ‘accepted’. I can tell you it’s a very emotionally draining way to live your life! Total freedom was when I realized that no matter what you do to please people, they will always find some fault. Now I don’t care at all about what anyone thinks. I dress how I want (am in slacks 99% of the time lolz) I do what I want when I want to and when I look in the mirror…am totally in love with what I see. Thank you for this wonderful post.
Hi Ami!
“When I look in the mirror…am totally in love with what I see.”
That’s a wonderful thing to read. I wish for everyone to feel that way. Thank you for sharing.
Best wishes,
Kevin
What a powerful post! Great food for thought! We are often told to dress for success, but what we aren’t told is that the first step of seeing that success is looking into the mirror. How we look says a lot about how we feel about ourselves and that says far more than any resume, demo tape, recommendation, you name it.
Hi Janet,
Thanks for your comments. I find I feel different when I pay some attention to how I look. Not for others, but for me. I suppose you could argue that it’s for others, but I don’t think it is. I’ve tuned in to what makes me feel comfortable and what doesn’t. Just today, I was made fun of for wearing a sport coat – it wasn’t the other person’s vibe. But that’s okay! I felt comfortable and loving toward him just the same.
I suppose I spent a lot of my life either not paying attention to it at all or trying to dress as I thought I should, as opposed to outfitting myself the way I wanted to see ME. I like it much better this way, however it looks.
Thanks so much for your visit.
Best wishes,
Kevin
Great one there Kevin, most of us tend to be fixated on what other people think about us, neglecting the most important bit, which is what we think of ourselves. Totally agree with you. Once you come to terms with yourself and are able to create who it is you want to see in the mirror, you start to have a really fulfilling life.
Thanks, Dela. I agree that what we think of ourselves is very important. I’ve been down and had a total lack of self esteem and remember what that feels like. So I work on self-love every single day without fail.
Best wishes,
Kevin