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“Sticks & Stones” – Understanding Negative Self-Talk

By May 18, 2017January 25th, 2018No Comments

Kevin Bulmer Video Blog - Sticks and StonesI went through through the first four decades of my life not having any idea what a limiting belief was, or how negative self-talk could shape our experience in an unpleasant way. Since I’ve caught on to that, I’ve come to realize that there are a great many things I just accepted as fact from a very young age, decided to believe, and carried with me all these years. And many of them are bulls–t.

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Like the phrase I refer to in this video blog.

If you’d rather read than watch (below), here’s the transcript:

There’s an old phrase you might remember, if you’re of my vintage, and I’m 43 now, by the way. Goes like this: “Sticks and stones might break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

We would hear that so often that it would just get drilled into our subconscious, and we’d start to believe it. I grew up believing that. But, come to find out that after all these decades, that it’s absolute baloney. In fact, I’d say it’s dangerous.

Words can never hurt. Well, try this:

“You’re an idiot.

Who the hell do you think you are?

Stop being ridiculous.

You can’t do that.

You’re not like her, you’re not like him.

You can’t have what they have.

You can’t do what they do.

Be responsible.

Get back to work.

Quit being a moron.”

Oh, you think I’m talking to you?! No, that’s just an example of how most people I know, including yours truly, talk to themselves for a good part of their lives.

Words can never hurt. They don’t even need to be spoken to inflict the kind of damage that can take us years to uncover and to start to heal. All they need to do is live between our ears and they can go to work on us. But there’s good news. The reverse is also true.

Words … don’t even need to be spoken to inflict the kind of damage that can take us years to uncover and to start to heal.

If you want to find out for yourself, try this. Stand in front of the mirror and look that person in the eye. Nobody else has to be around. You don’t have to let anybody know that you’re doing it. But try it, and say something like, “I love you. I’m proud of you. Yes, you can.” But just like the other, repetition over and over after all the days, weeks, months, and years pile up to inflict a lot of damage, it’s going to take some time and investment for the other to set in. But it will, and it can heal.

Now, in the meantime, if hurting is your game, now you know you’ve already got yourself equipped with every weapon that you’re ever going to need. And if that’s your game, just keep in mind, be careful with how you use those, because as far as the way to inflict pain is concerned, words … those are like BAZOOKAS. Sticks and stones are BB guns.


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Comments: What’s Another Phrase Like “Sticks & Stones?”

Can you think of another one phrase, or something your family or friends said that you had to shake free later in life? What was it? Please add your thoughts to the Comments Section, below. I’d love to hear from you.

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