Live Happy

Love is Something You DO

By September 27, 2016February 24th, 202113 Comments

Kevin Bulmer Lyric Slide - Love is something you doI believe far too many of us have love all wrong. We’re still sitting around and waiting for it to be bestowed upon us by way of a sensation that never leaves. But real love is not a temporary euphoria like being awash in Tinkerbell’s pixie dust. It’s not just something you feel. Love is something you do.

Stephen Covey wrote of this in his fabulous book, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” When I read that book, I was not expecting to encounter anything that equated to relationship advice (though it makes perfect sense to me now that to enjoy true abundance in life, all things need to be in balance, including richness of relationships).

In that passage, Covey describes the occasion a man approached him following a seminar to express his concern that he and his wife just “don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have.” He went on to suggest that perhaps he just didn’t love her anymore, and asked Covey what he should do.

Covey told him to love her. Taken aback, the man didn’t understand. Covey said, “My friend, love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her.”

It’s brilliant advice. I wish I’d read and understood it ten years before I did.

Positive Action Seldom Fails

Thank you noteThis really is the formula for just about anything else as well. Whatever you want to ultimately experience, start doing it. The feelings will follow.

If you want to experience more things to be grateful for, get into the state of expressing and feeling genuine gratitude for what you already have. If you are looking to get into better shape or have more money or get a better job, the sure way to be able to manifest those things is to begin experiencing – through visualization, goal setting, and reflection –  what it actually feels like and to begin acting as if that change has already occurred.

In just about every case, the action and the attitude shift comes before the change in results or external or physical appearances or realities. For instance, before you lose weight, you first must begin to act in a healthier manner. Eat better foods, exercise, get more sleep, think better thoughts. Do these things, and you’ll feel better. You won’t be able to help it!

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Before you begin to have more money, you must change your attitude and your habits along with it. Pay off debt, begin to save and learn how to invest, seek assistance from those who know. Get comfortable with taking charge of your finances. Stretch yourself to become more than just what you do each day at work. Challenge yourself to open up multiple sources of income and pursue your passions. Act the part and the results you seek externally will eventually manifest. But sitting around and wishing for windfall to solve all of your issues doesn’t do anything to address all of the underlying habits and attitudes. This is likely why there are so many stories of people who come into great riches that fall right back into bankruptcy. The money does not change who they fundamentally are; it magnifies it!

“You Get What You Give” is Cliche for a reason

Hands togetherLove is the same way. If you want to feel more of it, give more of it. Make it your way. Love yourself, and you’ll have more to give to others. If you are just sitting around waiting for someone or something to send love to you, you’re probably not in the vibration to openly accept and appreciate it anyway. So give more love! Express appreciation! Show your gratitude at every opportunity! Do everything Covey suggested to the man who approached him at that seminar, and more.

The things that we don’t enjoy as much are going to happen from time to time. Why not take charge, feel, live and experience more love in all the times in between?

Love isn’t just something you feel. Love is something you do. And the more you do it, the more you’ll feel it, for yourself and everyone around you.

Thoughts? As always, your comments are encouraged. What are some of the things that you do to express and feel more love each day?




  • Sheila Stevenson says:

    Absolutely agree. Love is first a verb. Do it. Spread it. Great article. Thanks Kevin.

  • Brent Trick says:

    That was truly awesome. I am going to have to get that book out and read it again, too. I feel the same way. And I wish there were a lot more humans out there like you and I. It would make the world a much better place. Thank you for sharing.

  • David says:

    So true! To recieve you first have to give. It’s not only applied to love but to almost everything. To succeed with bussiness you first have to put yourself out there and take the risks to then get the rewards. So many people just want to take but not give anything, then they get frustrated because they don’t recieve anything. They should just shift their mindset to see massive changes in their lives.

    Anyway, nice one Kevin!

  • Chris says:

    This blog is very inspiring! You have motivated me in ways to be amore loving husband and father, and for that I am grateful. I have bookmarked your site, and look forward to reading more from you!

    All the best,


  • Jeremiah says:

    Hello Kevin,

    Great article. I think the best version that I love which has been explained to me is:

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
    1 Corinthians 13:4-8

  • woody says:

    Nice article, Stephen Covey is a very talented author. His pieces of advice are very precious, especially when he is talking about being response-able.

  • woody says:

    Love can also be divided into two categories: love for yourself which benifits yourself, and love which benefits the other person and this last one is nowhere to be found, the pure version of it, in human except in out mothers

    • Kevin says:

      Hi Woody!
      Thanks for your comments. I would suggest that a health love for yourself is what equips you to fully offer love to another, as you’ve no need from them for anything other than for them to be exactly who they are.
      But I understand your point. A mother’s unconditional love is a powerful energy, indeed. And I completely agree about the importance of self love.
      Best wishes!

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